This Christmas has been the seventh that we have experienced since moving to Spain permanently and it has been as oddly unsatisfactory as the others. We cannot quite ‘place our finger’ on why? It may be because our children are older and that therefore Christmas has lost its ‘magic’ - or it could have a lot to do with Spain and the life in Spain of ex-pats.
Certainly, Christmas in Spain ‘feels’ different and with some justification. The day itself is unquestionably important to the Spanish although they tend to open their presents on Christmas Eve. However, no Boxing Day is celebrated - thus leaving Christmas feeling brutally short as many people return to work immediately afterwards.
It is also true to say that Spain is avowedly a secular state with the vast majority of the population (contrary to popular myth) irreligious. This means that the ‘objective’ of Christmas is as lost to commercialisation as it is in the UK. Indeed, I suspect that church attendance in Spain is now probably close to its nadir at the beginning of the twentieth century when there were fewer church-goers in Spain than any other European country.
The odd thing is that it is not as if the overall Chrismas period in Spain is, in itself, short. It lasts until the 6th January with the all-important celebration of ‘Three Kings’. This appears to us to be as critical as Christmas day itself with the day a national holiday, widespread formal street processions and, to the delight of Spanish children, another round of presents! Meanwhile, New Year’s Eve is as important in Spain as elsewhere in the world and just as replete with riotous parties welcoming the start of the new year.
The trouble, I think, is that Christmas as an ex-pat is hard to get right because of the absence of an extended family during the holiday period. The very nature of being an ex-pat means that close family and life long friends are (obviously) not close and, as a consequence, the ‘nuclear’ family 'bit' of Christmas is inevitably missing. This may be why our Christmas’ have been so unsatisfactory despite our best efforts. Indeed, whilst I have no regrets about leaving the UK, I do wonder whether our children will have missed out on an important part of their cultural and family heritage.
Of course, the weather (in a curious way) also militates against a British ideal of Christmas. This year (in Valencia) the sun was out on a glorious day that made us all feel somewhat preposterous whilst we remained in front of a rather pointless (but attractive!) blazing fire. In our minds, of course, we imagined ourselves looking out onto snow – or, at least, a chill day of freezing drizzle and lashing wind.
I guess, at the end of the day, Christmas is always going to be different when you live in a foreign country. But then I may be looking back at Christmas in the UK, during times past, with ludicrously pink glasses! If I am not - then it is one of the very few negatives to moving to Spain.
I should also say that any maudlin thoughts as to the benefits of a British Chrismas are usually rapidly dispelled. Yesterday, I was rock climbing in shorts and a tee shirt with some British climbing friends who had just arrived from the UK. Needless to say, when not climbing, we revelled in a picnic of turkey sandwiches whilst regaling each other with stories about how wonderful it was to be warm and able to climb (a dry weather sport – if ever there was one!) despite it being the end of December.
Of course, it is impossible to get everything right when you move to another country. However, mulling all of this over with my wife, we both came to the conclusion that our life in Spain is, in almost every way, preferable to what we had in the UK. It is sad that Christmas is a bit unsettling and disappointing - but the other advantages to living in Spain more than compensate us for a it!1
Certainly, Christmas in Spain ‘feels’ different and with some justification. The day itself is unquestionably important to the Spanish although they tend to open their presents on Christmas Eve. However, no Boxing Day is celebrated - thus leaving Christmas feeling brutally short as many people return to work immediately afterwards.
It is also true to say that Spain is avowedly a secular state with the vast majority of the population (contrary to popular myth) irreligious. This means that the ‘objective’ of Christmas is as lost to commercialisation as it is in the UK. Indeed, I suspect that church attendance in Spain is now probably close to its nadir at the beginning of the twentieth century when there were fewer church-goers in Spain than any other European country.
The odd thing is that it is not as if the overall Chrismas period in Spain is, in itself, short. It lasts until the 6th January with the all-important celebration of ‘Three Kings’. This appears to us to be as critical as Christmas day itself with the day a national holiday, widespread formal street processions and, to the delight of Spanish children, another round of presents! Meanwhile, New Year’s Eve is as important in Spain as elsewhere in the world and just as replete with riotous parties welcoming the start of the new year.
The trouble, I think, is that Christmas as an ex-pat is hard to get right because of the absence of an extended family during the holiday period. The very nature of being an ex-pat means that close family and life long friends are (obviously) not close and, as a consequence, the ‘nuclear’ family 'bit' of Christmas is inevitably missing. This may be why our Christmas’ have been so unsatisfactory despite our best efforts. Indeed, whilst I have no regrets about leaving the UK, I do wonder whether our children will have missed out on an important part of their cultural and family heritage.
Of course, the weather (in a curious way) also militates against a British ideal of Christmas. This year (in Valencia) the sun was out on a glorious day that made us all feel somewhat preposterous whilst we remained in front of a rather pointless (but attractive!) blazing fire. In our minds, of course, we imagined ourselves looking out onto snow – or, at least, a chill day of freezing drizzle and lashing wind.
I guess, at the end of the day, Christmas is always going to be different when you live in a foreign country. But then I may be looking back at Christmas in the UK, during times past, with ludicrously pink glasses! If I am not - then it is one of the very few negatives to moving to Spain.
I should also say that any maudlin thoughts as to the benefits of a British Chrismas are usually rapidly dispelled. Yesterday, I was rock climbing in shorts and a tee shirt with some British climbing friends who had just arrived from the UK. Needless to say, when not climbing, we revelled in a picnic of turkey sandwiches whilst regaling each other with stories about how wonderful it was to be warm and able to climb (a dry weather sport – if ever there was one!) despite it being the end of December.
Of course, it is impossible to get everything right when you move to another country. However, mulling all of this over with my wife, we both came to the conclusion that our life in Spain is, in almost every way, preferable to what we had in the UK. It is sad that Christmas is a bit unsettling and disappointing - but the other advantages to living in Spain more than compensate us for a it!1
I have some sympathy for the situation and understand what you mean, since living in Lanzarote for the past ten years we've tried visiting family back in the UK and going away elsewhere for Christmas as well as celebrating it here.
ReplyDeleteFor us our Christmas spirit comes from spending it with the right people, this can make or break the day. We don't have our family in Lanzarote but we have very good friends and we have taken it in turn to have Christmas dinner at each other's houses and its been fun. It doesn't matter whether we're eating a traditional dinner or sitting outside in the sunshine, its felt like Christmas.
Can I suggest that you head back to your families for Christmas 2010 to find out if you've been wearing those rose tinted glasses or not!
Julie - I certainly do not want to sound depressive and the last place I want to be is in the UK. It is different here but then that is part of the experience and to be treasured in its own way... Have a lovely New Year and thank you for your constructive comments!!
ReplyDelete